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Sunday, 16 June 2013

Application to Corbin College

I am writing to you today to accentuate my excellence and explain my importance to you needing me in your college.

I first swam the English channel at the age of 7, but halfway through I got bored and did it backwards with my eyes shut. I managed to prove the existence of Bigfoot when I saw him from space on my way to the moon. I have never taken a single breath, air just wants to be in my lungs. It was recently discovered that the big bang happened when my heart started beating. It took me a year and a half to travel to the edge of the universe and back. I've seen all seven wonders of the world and decided to make an eighth. They say that the city of Atlantis is lost, that’s only because I hid it so well. Every year on the night of December 24th I backpack the earth and deliver gifts to all good children on the planet. Last week I spent some time feeding children in Africa. This week I have exams. Yet I have never attended Corbin college.

I excitedly await your acceptance letter.
-Corbin

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